The Eye of The Tigger

Independence Day

2011-07-04T11:16:00.000-04:00

It's July 4, 2011 and that means it's Independence Day here in the greatest country in the world, the United States of America. This is a day when people gather with family and friends to celebrate our freedoms and it usually means lots of hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salads and desserts. Well for me, that's not going to be part of my celebration today. Nope, today is the day I finally assert my own independence and start down the road to health and happiness.

This coming Thursday I have an appointment for my annual check up with my doctor. In advance of that appointment I had to go in and have blood work done last week. This morning I got the results. While some things were better than last year (cholesterol, triglycerides) there was still one blood test I wasn't happy about, that being my blood sugar. It's not horrible or anything, but it's a little high and I know my doctor isn't going to be happy about that. In addition, I haven't lost any weight from last year.

As I often do, I tend to dwell on my shortcomings and for the last day or so I haven't been happy. I'm not happy that It's been 9 months since I finished the Halloween 5K at Walt Disney World and haven't competed in another race since. I'm not happy that I didn't run that entire race like I had hoped I would. I'm not happy that I haven't stuck to a regular exercise schedule. I'm not happy that I've been paying for a monthly pass at Weight Watchers but haven't been following the program. I'm not happy that it's been almost a year since I last posted here and most likely, have lost a lot of followers and supporters to my efforts.

Thinking of how unhappy I am made me take pause and decide that today, July 4, 2011 will be MY Independence Day. I am asserting my independence from unhappiness. I know the only way for me to be happy is to make changes in my life and stick with them. I am responsible for my own happiness....no one else is. I know I can do this! I've been through so much in my life already and in most areas of my life, I've succeeded....I have an awesome husband, good friends, and a promising career so why can't I be successful in this area? I have to really force myself to devoting the time to figuring that out and start making the changed that will lead me down the road to health success.

So today is the day I stop being unhappy and start doing the things I need to do to be happy and healthy. Will I feel happy every day? Probably not but my hope is that in the next year I have a lot more happy days than unhappy days so that July 4, 2012 is a major day of celebration for me.

Meltdown Followed by Refocus

2010-08-31T19:29:00.000-04:00

Last week was a disaster! Last Wednesday I weighed in at Weight Watchers and was up 2.4 lbs! I honestly had no idea why I was up! I was tracking and hadn't indulged in anything so I couldn't understand why the scale was doing this to me! I tried to refocus and keep moving forward but had another disaster on Saturday. During our weekly outdoor run I got a really bad stitch in my side. I tried to run through it, but I was having trouble breathing so I ended up walking about half of the total workout. I was so disappointed in myself and as always, my friend food was there to comfort me and let's just say me and Edy's are good friends.

I'm not proud of my behavior, mainly giving up on myself and giving in to bad habits, but I think it's out of my system now. Tomorrow is September 1 and we'll be headed to WDW in just 4 weeks. I know every day of training and every mile I put in is precious now and I am going to refocus and find the joy. I'm not giving up or giving in. As one of the people who really inspired me to start to try and run, Jonathan Dichter says, Main Street Awaits and I am determined to get there!

It's A Beautiful Day

2010-08-21T14:16:00.000-04:00

We started running outside 3 weeks ago to get used to running outdoors. We found a little park near us that has a paved running trail that goes along the ocean. Very calm and peaceful. The first time we went out there I didn't do so well. Last week was better and this week even more so. I was able to run a half mile before I had to stop and walk! I know that sounds so small compared to what others are doing but it's a big accomplishment for me.

I felt pretty good for most of the run/walk. I went and got fitted for proper running shoes yesterday (although I think the New Balances I had were pretty decent) so my feet were a little achy from the run, especially the arch in my right foot. I know they'll feel better as days and miles go by. Overall, I think they really helped keep my ankle stable which I need (overpronator) Here's a pic of my new Brooks Adrenaline GTS 10's

My goal for tomorrow is to get a weight training workout in. Overall, I feel good and I feel like I'm getting stronger every day. The race is 6 weeks away and I am going to do my darndest to be ready!

Have a great weekend!

Back To The Start

2010-08-20T09:52:00.001-04:00

Wow..it's been over a year since I posted here. I wish I could explain why I didn't post, but I really don't have a good reason.

The good new is that I am back to writing here. I am sure some people gave up on me, and rightfully so but I haven't given up on me and that's all that matters. I'm writing this blog for me, and if others want to follow along (and I sincerely thank you if you do) that's awesome.

So, now that we got the intro out of the way, you probably want to know what's new. Well, I spent the last year not really making progress on my health or weight. I went to Disney World in May and I have to say, I was not happy with how I looked in the pictures I took, and I was not happy with how I fit into the seats on the plane.(I didn't need two seats or a seat belt extender, but it was close quarters) My husband Bill and I (see Voice of A Quiet Guy blog) decided we wanted to make a change in our lives so when we got back from vacation we started the Couch to 5K plan and decided to set a goal of running the Halloween Family 5K at Walt Disney World in October. We've been training for 2 months now and signed up for the race about 3 weeks ago!

I am on Week 6 of the program (repeated a few weeks/workouts) and feel very happy with how far I've come. It was so hard to run for even one minute without stopping and yesterday I ran for 10 minutes straight! It's not easy and I'm not sure it ever will be. I have days and moments where I want to quit and don't believe in myself, but those moments pass. Our longer runs on weekends have been tough and I haven't been able to run a full 20 minutes without walking some in between but every day I am getting stronger and every day I believe a little more.

I also set a goal for myself on July 12 to lose 100 pounds by October 12, 2011. That averages out to 6.6 pounds per month..very doable and a healthy goal to have. My first month I lost 4.2 pounds....not as much as I was hoping for but I was happy with it anyway and feel like this will be an even stronger month for me. Hopefully I can exceed the 6.6 goal to make up for not quite getting there last month.

It's very hard for me to admit that I need to lose 100 pounds publicly, I'm doing it anyway because 1) I need to be accountable for my weight 2) I have to get over my fear of being judged or excluded because of my weight 3) I have to be honest with myself and stop worrying about what others think of me

So as you can see..a lot has changed and I have changed, hopefully for the better. I am going to do my best to keep up with this blog and use it as a way of expressing what I am going through, and hopefully some people out there will join my support network.

I feel very blessed to wake up each day, able to enjoy all the struggles and triumphs in life. I have a lot to live for and it's time for me to start acting like it!

Thanks to anyone who reads this..enjoy the ride!